The Happiness Challenge: 21 days, five activities each day = 10 minutes a day.
Can you do it? Begins anytime. Details below
There's this guy, Shawn Achor. He used to be some kind of Harvard Divinity School (Is that a real place?) researcher whose specialty was studying what makes people happy. During his research he somehow, he believes, found out what makes people happy and how they could become happier. He then designed a series of exercises, the Happiness Challenge, that takes 10 minutes a day for 21-days. He claims that after 21 days your brain will be re-wired so that the happiness button is pressed.
The challenge consists of five activities that you commit to doing every day for 21 days which is how long it takes, the theory goes, to create a new neural pathway. Yes, you have to do the exercise everyday for 3 weeks. If you skip or forget to do it, you just keep going until you've done the exercise 21 times in a row.
If you find you're missing a lot of days, it's just your old self trying to maintain the status quo. Tell yourself that it's less than 5 minutes a day and that you're out to prove the experiment wrong!
Okay, 21 days. Don't miss a day. Are you still with me? Here are the five things.
1. Three Gratitudes: Pause to take note of three new things each day that you are grateful for. Doing so will help your brain start to retrain its pattern of scanning the world, looking not just for the negative inputs but for the positive ones. It doesn't seem to matter how big or small what it is you are grateful for, but they need to be three NEW things every day. And you just can't think it--you have to write it.
2. Journaling: Similar to the gratitude practice, but in this case, detail — in writing — one positive experience each day. This can be an elaboration of one of the three gratitudes or a new gratitude. If you have more than a little time, write as much as you like This will help you find meaning in the activities of the day, rather than just noticing the task itself. The idea is to help your brain to relive that positive memory in lieu of the negative or embarrassing ones which tend to take up space in our heads.
3. Exercise: This teaches your brain that your behavior matters. The key with this is to do manageable amounts of exercise every day (one day could – and should – be a stretching day). You don’t want to burn yourself out. You’re teaching yourself discipline and proving to yourself that you can follow through on your promises. You want to get at least 15 minutes of fresh air and exercise every day ...a lovely walk with some sunshine if possible. This can be done at any time of the day, afternoon, or evening (separate from the notebook work). If you already work out, you're all set.
Okay, yes, I know this now takes a total to 25 minutes a day. But you exercise for at least 15 minutes a day already, right?
4. Meditation: Take just two minutes per day to simply breathe and focus on your breath going in and out. Doing so will train your mind to focus, reduce stress, and help you be more present in this moment. In theory this will help you to get over the cultural ADHD that exists all around us, and will allow your body and mind to focus on the task at hand.
5. Random Acts of Kindness. (This is the one that will be the hardest for many of us.) The idea is that when you open your e-mail, or twitter, or Facebook – that you write one positive post or e-mail that praises or thanks someone in your social support network. The idea here is that every day you do, or make, some kind of intentional positive connection with another human being. If you email your mother or text a friend or your sister, it still works! If it isn't an electronic thing, you still need to make the effort to make some kind of good-hearted connection, to do a good deed. Examples: say something nice to the cashier at the grocery store, talk to the man in line at the bank, or give a dollar and a smile to a homeless person. It’s a big challenge and an interesting challenge. Just difficult enough to make a difference, but not so hard that it becomes daunting.
INSPIRATION, MOTIVATION, CONTINUATION brought to you by Tom Here is what one modern thinker, Sam Harris, said about gratitude:
I'd like to talk for a few minutes about gratitude. There is now a lot of research that suggests that gratitude is good for us--no surprise there. And as an emotion, it is very easy to invoke. Unless you are living the worst possible life, it should be easy to find something for which you're grateful and it can be very skillful and wise to do this.
One reflection I find myself doing when I'm in some ordinary, contracted, state of mind – let’s say that I’m stressed out by something not going well, I'm reacting to some hassle – I could be caught in traffic and late for an appointment. I sometimes think of bad things that haven't happened to me. I might think that I haven't been diagnosed with a fatal illness, I'm not caught in war zone. And I think of all the people on earth, in that moment, who are suffering those sorts of dislocations in the lives. And then reflect that if I were in their shoes, I would be desperate to get back to precisely the situation I'm now in – just stuck in traffic and late for an appointment but without any real care in the world.
I noticed this at dinner the other night with my family. Everyone seemed to be in a fairly mediocre frame of mind. We were all in some way disgruntled or stressed out. I had a million things I was thinking about and I suddenly noticed how little joy we were all taking in one another's company. And then I thought, “If I had died yesterday, and could have the opportunity to be back with my family,” I thought of how much I would savor this moment right now.
And it totally transformed my mood. It gave me instantaneous access to my best self and into a feeling of pure gratitude for the people in my life. Just think of what it would be like to lose everything and then be restored to the moment you're now in, however, ordinary.
You can reboot your mind in this way, and it need not take any time. The truth is, you know exactly what it's like to feel overwhelming gratitude for your life.
And if you have the freedom and the free attention to listen to this lesson right now, you are in an unusual situation. There are at least a billion people on earth at this moment who would consider their prayers answered if they could trade places with you. There at least a billion people who are suffering debilitating pain or political oppression or the acute stages of bereavement – to have your health, even just sort of, to have friends, even only a few, to have hobbies or interests and the freedom to pursue them, to have spent this day free from some terrifying encounter with chaos is to be lucky.
Just look around you and take a moment to feel how lucky you are. You get another day to live on this earth. Enjoy it.
Think a minute about the extraordinary acts of kindness that often very busy people perform. Example: Edward Kennedy was a senator, and yet even after he was diagnosed with brain cancer he kept teaching an inner city child reading skills. After he died the media interviewed the child -- she had no idea who he was--to her he was just a nice guy who was teaching her. In this case, you will be teaching yourself.
Think about the really successful and happy people you know. Did they become happy after they became successful or did they start off happy? One of Shawn's finding is the opposite of the popular belief that, "I'll do A, B, C, and then I'll be happy." Shawn has found that what is actually true is, "If I'm happy, I'll do A, B, and C better and faster." Shawn makes the case that the most successful people are the ones who start off happy and go from there. So don't postpone happiness until "after I become successful." You can be happy now. Kindly don't write that off as new age madness: just think a minute about the times you've been sad or depressed and really dragged yourself through a project, a class, a test, a relationship, or just your day-to-day life. Then think about those times when you've been happier and did surprisingly well at most everything. Spare a thought as well for the sad and depressed people you've worked with and those who were a joy to work with. Who would you want to work with again?
I started doing this about a year ago last February and after 21 days (I did not skip because I was out to prove the author wrong) I felt better. I felt a lot better. I decided that It had to be the placebo effect so I kept doing this exercise for 3 months! After 3 months I figured there was something to this neural construction thing (or whatever it's called) and I kept doing 'The 3 Gratitudes' straight through till August. I kept waiting for the music to stop but it didn't. In September I decided to experiment and I stopped doing the exercise just to see whether I would go back to default (after 7 months of being a happy, optimistic, creative and grateful person). It has now been 7 more months of NOT doing The 3 Gratitudes and I've maintained 70-80% of the gain. This month I have started doing the exercise again just because I WANT that 20% back! The only time I've slipped back into feelings of real pessimism was one week when I had the flu but it lifted as soon as I started recovering. It is interesting to note that the old neural networks still exist and don't go away but if you REPLACE them with better ones you can override the old belief system. --------------- This is the best book I've read in the past year. I am still working to implement many different aspects, but it's truly changing my life for the better. One example is expressing 3 things I'm grateful for each day, along with one specific direct gratitude directed toward an individual. This one area has changed not only my life in a very positive way, but has also greatly improved happiness in the lives of those around me. ---------- If you want some inspiration for #5, a random-act-of-kindness, have a look at two of the letters that Abraham Lincoln wrote to offer support. -----------Springfield, Ills. July 22, 1860 My dear George I have scarcely felt greater pain in my life than on learning yesterday from Bob's letter, that you failed to enter Harvard University. And yet there is very little in it, if you will allow no feeling of discouragement to seize, and prey upon you. It is a certain truth, that you can enter, and graduate in, Harvard University; and having made the attempt, you must succeed in it. "Must" is the word. I know not how to aid you, save in the assurance of one of mature age, and much severe experience, that you can not fail, if you resolutely determine, that you will not. The President of the institution, can scarcely be other than a kind man; and doubtless he would grant you an interview, and point out the readiest way to remove, or overcome, the obstacles which have thwarted you. In your temporary failure there is no evidence that you may not yet be a better scholar, and a more successful man in the great struggle of life, than many others, who have entered college more easily. Again I say let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed. With more than a common interest I subscribe myself Very truly your friend, A. Lincoln.
------------- To the Father and Mother of Col. Elmer E. Ellsworth: My dear Sir and Madam, In the untimely loss of your noble son, our affliction here, is scarcely less than your own. So much of promised usefulness to one's country, and of bright hopes for one's self and friends, have rarely been so suddenly dashed, as in his fall. In size, in years, and in youthful appearance, a boy only, his power to command men, was surprisingly great. This power, combined with a fine intellect, an indomitable energy, and a taste altogether military, constituted in him, as seemed to me, the best natural talent, in that department, I ever knew. And yet he was singularly modest and deferential in social intercourse. My acquaintance with him began less than two years ago; yet through the latter half of the intervening period, it was as intimate as the disparity of our ages, and my engrossing engagements, would permit. To me, he appeared to have no indulgences or pastimes; and I never heard him utter a profane, or intemperate word. What was conclusive of his good heart, he never forgot his parents. The honors he labored for so laudably, and, in the sad end, so gallantly gave his life, he meant for them, no less than for himself. In the hope that it may be no intrusion upon the sacredness of your sorrow, I have ventured to address you this tribute to the memory of my young friend, and your brave and early fallen child. May God give you that consolation which is beyond all earthly power. Sincerely your friend in a common affliction -- A. Lincoln --------------
Okay, that's it. This 21-day challenge has benefited many people. If you do it, there is no reason why you won't be one of them.